More Than Enough: Ingredients to Happiness

More Than Enough: Ingredients to Happiness

Life has a wonderfully horrible way of placing us in difficult situations in order for us to grow. While so much can be going right, like the completion of a novel and a book being published, behind the scenes so much can be going wrong. During the difficult stretches in life, it’s natural for us to reach out to those who support us: friends, family, the local bakeries, etc. However, I think it’s key that we also learn to rely on ourselves during these periods, as well. I say this because I think it is during our most trying times that we realize how strong we actually are. We realize that we are more than enough.

Several days ago, I found myself completely distraught with a troubling situation. Like anyone, I reached out to someone close to me for support which they gave and then some. The next day I wasn’t feeling much better. As if my friend has some psychic ability they messaged me and kept me distracted throughout the day. It was a very welcome distraction, trust me.

But the next day they didn’t message me and I found myself feeling a little sad. Yes,  the troubling situation had lessened some but I still wanted those happy texts to keep my mind from wandering. I thought of texting them but they had already done so much, I didn’t want to ask for more. Most importantly, I wanted them to want to text me vs. me constantly messaging them which, after awhile, can start to feel like begging. Soon I was frequently checking my phone “just to be sure” I didn’t miss a message. I’d do this even though I hadn’t heard my phone beep.

My actions started feeling desperate. Yes, what was happening was taking a large emotional toll on me but could I really ask someone else to carry that burden with me? Could I really ask someone to constantly be there to help me as I struggled?

To a certain extent, yes, but also no. Because the reality is, at the end of the day, the only person who is necessary in the recipe to my happiness is me.

Now, that’s not to say, we shouldn’t find joy from others or that friends aren’t there to support us. Part of being a good friend is lifting others up when they’ve been beat down. It just comes with the territory, ya know?

However, it’s not uncommon for people to come in and go out of our lives. Most people will only stay around for a short period, though there are those select few who will be friends for life. But when the friends are gone, when the select few are too busy to answer their phones, who else do we have to turn to but ourselves?

The reason behind this is that it is us as individuals that create or destroy our happiness. Everyone else, for the most part, is just supplemental.

I cannot expect my friend to constantly drop everything they have to do to help me. Not only is it unrealistic but it’s a bit selfish, too.

I need to be able to find the strength within myself to push through. I need to find ways to distract myself, to make myself smile, to make myself laugh. Because, in a way, by giving ANYONE so much control over our happiness, we are giving them a ton of power over us. Some people may use this power for good, others may use it for not so good purposes.

What they do with it isn’t as significant as what we as individuals do with our own power.

via GIPHY

I don’t believe in the whole “I choose to be happy” sentiment. It’s a bit more complex than that, isn’t it?

What I do support is the “I choose to take control and try to be happy” ideology. You may not be happy the first day, the second or for several days after that but eventually you will get there and you’ll do so with your own strength, as well as your own intentions.

Because you are the only necessary ingredient in the recipe to your happiness.

 

Question: Who are those you depend on during the tough times? What are some things you do your own happiness?

 

 

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